marriage

Getting Married in Church?

A marriage service, wherever it is held, is a public declaration of love and commitment to
your partner. If you choose to get married in church, there is an added dimension – the
assurance that God cares about you relationship and that God’s resources and strength
are available to help you. Including God in your marriage doesn’t mean that you will avoid
all the usual ups and downs, but you will know that you can look to God for help and
guidance and that God’s love will sustain you. You will also have the support and
encouragement of the Christian Church family.

Preparing for the service: frequently asked questions
There is more information on the national church website at:
http://www.cofe.anglican.org/lifeevents/weddings

Q        Where can I get married?
A        You are entitled to be married in the church of the Church of England parish where
one or other or you lives. If you are and active, worshipping member of another church
congregation, it is usually possible to be married there. Contact us.

Q        How do I book the church?
A        Contact the clergy. Details are in each church section of this website.

Q        What are the legal requirements?
A        You must have your banns read out in church for three consecutive Sundays
during the three months before the wedding. Banns are an announcement of your
intention to marry and a chance for anyone to put forward a reason why the marriage may
not lawfully take place. Banns need to be read in the parish where each of you lives as
well as at the church in which you are to be married if that is another parish. (In some
cases there may be an alternative to banns – see the Church of England web site.)

If you are under the age of eighteen, you might have your parents’ consent to marry.

There are special guidelines on church marriage if you have been divorced: see the
separate question on this issue.

Q        How much will it cost?
A        The legal fees for a marriage cover the publication of the banns, certificate of
banns (if necessary), the marriage service and certificate of marriage. These fees are
fixed centrally and will cost between £240 and £260.

These fees do not cover any extras you may wish to have for the service, such as a choir,
organist, bell-ringers, special lighting, fees for video recording and so on. Check with your
parish priest.

Q        Can I choose what kind of service I want?
A        You can choose to have a modern language service or one in more traditional
language. Talk over the options with your parish priest. There are usually one or more
readings from the bible in the service – your parish priest can help you select the most
appropriate. There will also be some prayers, which you may help to choose, or you may
write your own. You may also decide to have someone other then the minister leading the
prayers.

The minister will probably give a brief talk or sermon.

If you have friends or family members you would like to involve in the service, for example
by doing a reading or playing a musical instrument, discuss this with your parish priest at
an early stage of your planning.

Q        Which hymns and songs can I have?
A        Your parish priest or the church organist can advise on suitable hymns and songs,
as well as music for coming in, going out and during the signing of the register. If you
want to set out the words and/or music on a printed service sheet, you will need to comply
with the copyright laws – you should consult your parish priest about this.

Q        Should we have one or two rings?
A        A wedding ring is a symbol of unending love and faithfulness, and of and
commitment you are making to each other. It is entirely up to you whether you have one
ring or two.

Q        Can we have a video recording of the service?
A        You will need to ask permission from the parish priest and from any
organist/worship leader. There may be a small fee to pay: ask your parish priest about
this.

Q        What if one of us is divorced?
A        The Church of England teaches that marriage is for life. It also recognizes that,
sadly, some marriages do fail and, if this should happen, it seeks to be available for al
involved. The church accepts that, in exceptional circumstances, a divorced person may
marry again in Church during the lifetime of a former spouse.

What do Christians believe about marriage?

Christians believe that marriage is a gift from God. In the marriage ceremony, a couple
make a public declaration of lifelong commitment to love each other, come what may.

The Bible compares married love with the love Jesus has for his followers. He expressed
his love by being prepared to sacrifice himself, even to die for the people he loved. This
is amazing, unconditional love. Jesus never said ‘I love you, but …’. In our marriages we
can try to follow his model by loving our partners in a self-sacrificial way, putting their
needs before our own.

The marriage ceremony gives you a new legal status as husband and wife and a new
stability within which your relationship can flourish and grow. Christians believe that
marriage offers the right place for the fulfilment of our sexuality and that it provides a
stable and secure environment for bringing up children.